Perhaps, at this point in time, while you are caught between two physical communities, and not fully rooted in either, your online community is a good thing to have.

My mother required care for 21 long years, so I do understand the mental and physical demands, if not the complexities added by farm life and the brother issue. This phase will end, somehow or other, but I sympathize with how it can drain you. I believe you also homeschool, or you did.

What amazes me is that you can find time to write this, and other, wonderful essays. I enjoyed reading it.