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Insulted? Snappy Comebacks You Can Use To Stand Up For Yourself

What I should have said was . . .

Judy Millar
2 min readApr 10, 2022
A British Shorthair grumpy cat lies on an orange-yellow towel and fumes.
One peeved pussy: Free for commercial use at Pixabay

Will Smith’s slap of Chris Rock at the Oscars was heard around the world. But sometimes people slap us across the face with their rude words or snide comments (e.g., “You look good for a woman your age.”), and we’re rendered speechless.

I was never good at snappy comebacks. But oh, at 2:00 a.m.

What I should have said was . . .

Some of the world’s quickest wits were faster than Federer at lobbing a verbal burn. I’ve considered modifying a few of their snarkiest insults to use as snappy comebacks. Could I ever bring myself to respond,“Oh yeah? Well, your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork!” ? Probably not.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. — Mae West

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” seems equally harsh. (But clever.)

There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure. — Jack E. Leonard

At best, I might be able to get my “Groucho” on, and sneer, “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. I’m afraid this…

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Judy Millar
Judy Millar

Written by Judy Millar

Canadian humour writer. Comedic storyteller. Overthinker. 😂 Words in Reader’s Digest 🇨🇦, Writer’s Digest, Medium + judy@judymillar.ca Twitter: @judymillar

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