ANIMAL SEX

Birds, Bees and Fleas Do It: Five Weird Ways They Get It On

Oddball animal sex facts, just for the fun of it

Scarab beetles mating. Photo by Romi Yusardi on Unsplash, modified by author

“Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it” … or so goes famous the Cole Porter lyric. But exactly HOW some critters “get it on” may leave you gobsmacked.

May I mist you?

Who needs a spritz of Chanel N°5 to set the mood? Not the porcupine. The male simply sprays the female’s body and head with a stream of urine to get her “in the mood.” Now he has to maneuver past her 30,000 quills. If she’s smitten, she’ll expose the quill-free underside of her tail. It’s on!

But all too soon, she’ll “scream back at her mate” the porcupine equivalent of: “Enough is enough, Phil!”. So ends their union.

Thanks, but you don’t fit the bill

Female ducks can be fussy about guys they deem “duds.” When an undesirable male sidles up, proudly flaunting his corkscrew-shaped penis, her vagina clockwise-spirals, to thwart his opposite spiral. Fowl play! The poor chump hits a dead end cul-de-sac. He’s literally screwed.

Wanna twirl on my trapeze?