Judy Millar – Medium

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Judy Millar
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Crow’s Feet

Eye-catching Obituaries You Can Model To Leave ’em Laughing

These funny farewells went viral. Yours might too!

4 min readJan 17, 2022

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A red squirrel sits on a tree branch and reads a newspaper. We presume he’s reading the obituaries.

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Judy Millar
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Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Famous Historical Figures Draft their Online Dating Profiles

“Tudor Royal looking to meet Ms. Right (or Ms. Right Now).”

4 min readJun 21, 2020

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Famous Historical Figures Draft their Online Dating Profiles

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Judy Millar
in
Crow’s Feet

“You’re having a heart attack,” said the doctor. But he was wrong.

My heart broke — literally. Could Takotsubo cardiomyopathy happen to you?

5 min readJan 14, 2023

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A woman with long brown hair folds her hands across her chest. She wears a silver ring with a cut-out of a heart.

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Judy Millar
in
The Haven

What’s Good for the Goose Is … Murder for the Gander

A tasty tale of Christmas treachery

4 min readDec 13, 2022

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A brown goose tucks her head under her wing, as if ashamed. Her speech bubble reads: “What have I done?”

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Judy Millar
in
ILLUMINATION

Take a Dip in the Deep with Diver Bob!

The waters surrounding Vancouver Island teem with marine life

5 min readNov 24, 2022

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A fleshy-faced grey wolf eel with a protruding incisor studies diver Bob Simpson, as its mate stares out from an underwater cave in the Salish Sea (Strait of Georgia).

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Judy Millar
in
Crow’s Feet

To My Husband, To Be Read in the Event That I Predecease You

A posthumous poem

2 min readSep 27, 2022

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To My Husband, To Be Read in the Event That I Predecease You

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Judy Millar
in
No Crime in Rhymin’

On Searching for Your Mobile Phone

You check on the counter and look in your purse

1 min readSep 24, 2022

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An old-fashioned, rotary dial phone rests on a grey background. Its speech bubble reads: “At least you could find me!”

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Judy Millar
in
Crow’s Feet

Waking Up After 70 — Yow! What Now?!!

I woke up with a leg pain something wasn’t right the ligament that went to bed had twisted overnight

1 min readSep 22, 2022

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A wooden mannequin sits on the floor, legs outstretched. His speech bubble reads: “Yow! What now?!!”

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Judy Millar
in
The Haven

Half-baked Barista

Cappuccino, Frappuccino, Al Pacino …

1 min readSep 16, 2022

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A Starbucks cup sits on a black counter. The name Bob (misspelled as “Bobb”) is written on it in black marker.

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Judy Millar
in
The Haven

“Your Call Is (he, he) Important to Us.” Welcome to Phone Line Limbo.

NARRATOR VOICE:

5 min readAug 28, 2022

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Judy Millar

Judy Millar

Canadian humour writer. Comedic storyteller. Overthinker. 😂 Words in Reader’s Digest 🇨🇦, Writer’s Digest, Medium + judy@judymillar.ca Twitter: @judymillar

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